Gender Feels Tarot Spread
For navigating complex gender moods.
For exploring, soothing, & boosting gender expression & play.
For exploring, soothing, & boosting gender expression & play.
1. Mysteries: Mysteries of my gender. A secret from my spirit.
2. Mood: Mood of my gender. How I’m feeling about it now.
3. Body: How to better sit in this physical body.
4. Expression: A resource or theme to use in my gender expression.
5. Play: Somewhere to play, stretch, or experiment with my gender.
6. Euphoria: A strategy or energy for fueling gender euphoria.
7. Glamor: A tool to craft how I carry myself and how other perceive me.
NOTES:
This spread is for people of all genders! You do not have to be trans or genderqueer to play along, although I expect that people of different genders will get different things out of this spread. We all receive conditioning around gender, and that impacts us all in different ways and to different degrees. Tired and toxic gender scripts hurt absolutely everyone. I encourage any cis-het allies reading along to give this one a shot!
In card 1, you can take mysteries in a mystical or mundane direction. Genders are greater than the experience of any one person, and that means they all have their mysteries by default. Mysteries are even more pronounced for genders that have seen their language and histories razed through the centuries. If gender carries mystical or spiritual meaning for you, you can go there with this card. If not, mysteries can simply mean something you don’t know or understand about your gender.
In card 3, the body, please do not feel pressure or obligation to sit comfortably and feel good in your body. That doesn’t have to be your goal, and you do not owe perfect embodiment to anyone. Skip this if it’s likely to be triggering, or unlikely to help.
And in card 7, under glamor, understand that we never have total control over how others perceive and react to us. We can control how we present and carry ourselves and that certainly influences how others see us. Keep the focus on what you want and what feels good to you. You are not required to be pretty or perform glamor for others. It is not your fault when you’re doing your best and don’t get the reactions you desire or deserve from other people. Be your gorgeous you. Haters can go suck a rotten egg.
P.S. to any gender-questioning readers—I’d like to paraphrase and pass along a message I’ve seen making the rounds from a few different voices on social media this Pride season: If you think about gender all the time, if something about the way you get gendered low- key (or high-key) bugs you on a routine basis, and if you keep circling back to gender questions over and over for weeks, months, and years, it’s likelier that you don’t identify with the gender you were assigned at birth than that you’re cis. It’s okay to try on labels like trans, genderqueer, nonbinary, androgyne, agender, genderfluid, and more to see how they feel. Start by speaking to yourself, perhaps in a journal, then with close friends or a support group you can trust. Maybe one of these labels will fit, or maybe not. You are the only person with the ability and right to name, feel, and express your own gender. It’s as fine to be cis as it is to be trans, nonbinary, or gender-non-conforming, and there are many, many ways to be each of these things. It’s okay to take your time questioning. You can spend a lifetime deciding or pondering, and that’s nobody’s business but your own.
VARIATIONS:
Skip any topic that is likely to trigger dysphoria for you. You have my full blessing and encouragement to cherry-pick this one as you please.
2. Mood: Mood of my gender. How I’m feeling about it now.
3. Body: How to better sit in this physical body.
4. Expression: A resource or theme to use in my gender expression.
5. Play: Somewhere to play, stretch, or experiment with my gender.
6. Euphoria: A strategy or energy for fueling gender euphoria.
7. Glamor: A tool to craft how I carry myself and how other perceive me.
NOTES:
This spread is for people of all genders! You do not have to be trans or genderqueer to play along, although I expect that people of different genders will get different things out of this spread. We all receive conditioning around gender, and that impacts us all in different ways and to different degrees. Tired and toxic gender scripts hurt absolutely everyone. I encourage any cis-het allies reading along to give this one a shot!
In card 1, you can take mysteries in a mystical or mundane direction. Genders are greater than the experience of any one person, and that means they all have their mysteries by default. Mysteries are even more pronounced for genders that have seen their language and histories razed through the centuries. If gender carries mystical or spiritual meaning for you, you can go there with this card. If not, mysteries can simply mean something you don’t know or understand about your gender.
In card 3, the body, please do not feel pressure or obligation to sit comfortably and feel good in your body. That doesn’t have to be your goal, and you do not owe perfect embodiment to anyone. Skip this if it’s likely to be triggering, or unlikely to help.
And in card 7, under glamor, understand that we never have total control over how others perceive and react to us. We can control how we present and carry ourselves and that certainly influences how others see us. Keep the focus on what you want and what feels good to you. You are not required to be pretty or perform glamor for others. It is not your fault when you’re doing your best and don’t get the reactions you desire or deserve from other people. Be your gorgeous you. Haters can go suck a rotten egg.
P.S. to any gender-questioning readers—I’d like to paraphrase and pass along a message I’ve seen making the rounds from a few different voices on social media this Pride season: If you think about gender all the time, if something about the way you get gendered low- key (or high-key) bugs you on a routine basis, and if you keep circling back to gender questions over and over for weeks, months, and years, it’s likelier that you don’t identify with the gender you were assigned at birth than that you’re cis. It’s okay to try on labels like trans, genderqueer, nonbinary, androgyne, agender, genderfluid, and more to see how they feel. Start by speaking to yourself, perhaps in a journal, then with close friends or a support group you can trust. Maybe one of these labels will fit, or maybe not. You are the only person with the ability and right to name, feel, and express your own gender. It’s as fine to be cis as it is to be trans, nonbinary, or gender-non-conforming, and there are many, many ways to be each of these things. It’s okay to take your time questioning. You can spend a lifetime deciding or pondering, and that’s nobody’s business but your own.
VARIATIONS:
Skip any topic that is likely to trigger dysphoria for you. You have my full blessing and encouragement to cherry-pick this one as you please.
