Interrobang Tarot
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Spreads
  • PATREON
  • Shop
  • Ebooks
    • Wicked Queer Tarot Spreads
    • Eight Useful Tarot Spreads
  • Decks
    • Black Ink
    • Spirit Vertigo
  • Art
  • Contact
  • Contents
  • Freebies

WTF Was I Thinking?! Tarot Spread

1/9/2020

2 Comments

 
Picture
I dunno know about the rest of you lovely persons, but I’ve been doing more looking back than forward on this turn of the decade. Maybe it’s the side-winding Cancer stellium in my chart, but I am a backward-looking soul by nature, and this season strikes me as an even finer than usual time to dig into the past and go scrounging for dropped threads and fragments of the self to re-collect. And collectively speaking, there is no way forward without reckoning with our history.


To that end, your favorite spread here deserves itself a fine sequel. Introducing the WTF Was I Thinking?! Tarot Spread, for dialoguing with the past self, with empathy and humor. 


This fraught and preposterous age fosters no shortage of strife around ageism and toxic intergenerational relations. As with any other -ism, we all have to contend with internalized ageism. Internalized ageism orbits the ways we view and speak to our former, younger, and in-some-but-not-all-ways more foolish selves. And if you can’t embrace the Fool-self with love, what are you doing in tarot?


Do you have the patience to speak to the cringiest incarnations of your past self without being a condescending dirtbag about it? Do you have the guts to consider the possibility that they know some things better than you—things you’ve forgotten and could stand to review? Do you have the humility and respect to listen more than you speak to—and more than you scold—your younger selves? If you sat down for coffee with 2010 you today, would they “OK Boomer” you? Would you have earned it? Can you walk the line between having a sense of humor about yourself and punching down from perfectionist cruelty? I think you can. Let’s find out!


It’ll help, before you shuffle and draw, to specify which past version of yourself, from what time range, you’d like to speak to. You can ritualize this if you like by gathering a photograph or personal effects from that time. Imagine that you’re summoning your old self to the table. Try to bring in some sensory connections. Play some background music you loved then, spray a perfume or light an incense you used, or throw on an outfit like something you’d have worn at the time. Imagine that you’re sitting down to tea or coffee with your younger self, and prepare yourself to hear them speak. 

Picture

The WTF Was I Thinking?! Tarot Spread

1. X 2. WHAT THE: What was going on at the time? My background situation and challenges.


I read this segment as a cross because the intersection of two cards can better reflect the complexity of one’s baseline outer circumstances. You can take the two cards here individually, as two separate outer influences from the time, or draw a single card in the “What The” position if that’s easier. I always find a lot of meat in the intersection of two cards’ stories. I don’t read any hierarchy between the crossing cards in this spread.


3. ACTUAL: Something I’m remembering wrong. How it really went down. 


Memories tend to grow distortions over time, and some of the most difficult times in our lives—the one’s we might most need to speak to—are difficult to remember clearly because of trauma or shame. This card serves as a prompt to jog the memory in an area that is particularly distorted, overlooked, or hard to access. Unpack at your own pace and see the notes below on counseling and outside support. 


4. FUCK: What and how I fucked up. 


Aim for accountability with patience as you approach this one. It might hurt, but it might be cathartic. The trick is to take responsibility for and track what you got wrong without beating yourself up or giving up on yourself. You can’t fix what you won’t face.


If your poison is hyper-criticism and you tend to tell yourself that you screwed up everything you ever touched, you might add a bonus card here to check for a point of distortion. What do you think you fucked up that you did not, in truth, fuck up. Are you blaming yourself for something that was out of your hands? Have you taken on responsibility or embarrassment for something someone else fucked up?


5. X 6. WAS I: My inner landscapes at the time. The state of my old mind.


Again, a cross for nuance and depth. At any given time, in any given person, there’s quite a lot bouncing ‘round the psyche. You can distill this into a single card, though, if you prefer.


7. THINKING: Motives and reasoning. Why I did things the way I did.


Again, the point here is not to be hyper-critical. In fact, this is where it’s most important to listen to the old self with openness and care. We do very little without some kind of thought process or reasoning. Even if a past decision makes little sense to you now, you probably had your motives at the time. Reconnecting to them can help you forgive yourself for some of your mistakes, and illuminate blind spots in how you reason through your decisions now.


8. ?: A question to ask my former self. What did they know and get right that I’ve forgotten?


Remember that you have been an entire person at every age, and those other persons had their finer qualities. Some of them may have fallen to the wayside. Remember what you got right. Ask yourself what you can stand to revisit and relearn.


9. !: An action I can take to reintegrate the lessons from this time, and remember what I knew better then, without repeating my nonsense.


Let this card prompt a good brainstorm, then follow through. Introspection can only carry us so far without action and meaningful movement. ​



BONUS ROUND: TIME-WARP CHALLENGE


You can also point this spread to your current self, as seen by your future self. What the fuck are you thinking right now and how could you handle it with greater strategy and clarity? I tested out this spread both ways, and found it helpful in both cases, though yikes! That present to future one can sting some. Brace yourself to face what you’re at risk of fucking up right now.


Here’s the adapted breakdown:


1. X 2. WHAT THE: What’s going on at this time? My background situation and challenges.
3. ACTUAL: What’s really going on here? What truth about this situation do I risk losing sight of even now, and risk remembering wrong in the future? 
4. FUCK: What and how am I fucking up right now? Where’s my biggest risk of making mistakes or losing my way? 
5. X 6. AM I: My inner landscapes at this time. The state of my current mind.
7. THINKING: Motives and reasoning. Why am I doing things this way? What’s driving me on my current trajectory?
8. ?: A question my future self will want to ask my current self. What am I getting right? What’s worth carrying forward from this phase?
9. !: An action I can take to integrate the lessons from this time, while minimizing the nonsense and baggage I carry forward.




NOTE: If you are reviewing a time of trauma, it may be helpful to tackle this spread with a trusted friend or a licensed counsellor. It’s fine to pace yourself and take breaks. Journaling is your friend. You never have to complete a whole spread in one sitting. There’s no shame in needing adaptations, or needing outside support!


Tarot is not a substitute for professional counseling or medical attention. I, the author of this quality blorg, am an artist with an arts degree, sharing the resources I invent largely to brainstorm, entertain, and console myself. I am not a therapist. For entertainment purposes only. You know the drill.

Commercial Use of Tarot Spreads:

I aim first and foremost to helping people learn and use tarot for themselves. Everything I post is free to use at home or share with friends for personal, educational, non-commercial ends. That said, I recognize that some people will use my tarot spreads with paying clients, and I couldn't stop them even if I wanted to. (It's NBD though.)

If you use my original spreads for paid client work, please make a donation--whatever is fair and proportionate to your use--to support the site and help me keep releasing free tarot spreads for all my readers. If you share my work on your website, blog, or social media pages, give credit and link back (or tag @interrobangtarot on Instagram) so others can find these resources. Thanks so much! Sharing is wonderful, and I do appreciate your support. Many thanks to all who donate--you help keep this site running!

My work is not for re-sale or promotional give-away. Do not use my spread diagrams or illustrations as promotional materials in your own business or website. If you have any questions about use drop me a line. 

I do not take any responsibility for the quality or content of others' readings. I do not endorse or recommend tarot readers or psychics. Some folks use my spreads in paid client work. None of them are affiliated with me, or recommended or endorsed by me.

You Might Also Like:

Picture
The Otherlings Tarot:
​An Interview With
Jessica Knight
Picture
WTF?! Tarot Spread
Picture
New Year
Tarot Spread
2 Comments
Kathy Borrelli
2/23/2020 07:31:42 am

Do I need to purchase the deck to do the spread WTF.

Thanks,

Kathy

Reply
Evvie
2/23/2020 07:41:56 am

Hi Kathy,

I'm not sure what you mean? You do need tarot cards to do this spread, but any deck will work. This spread is free for people to use personally. I only ask for donations when people use the spreads with paying clients. (Like, if you charge someone else for a reading with this tarot spread and make a profit, please tip the blog to help keep it running & ad free.) So no purchase necessary, but you do need a tarot deck--any tarot deck--to do a tarot reading for yourself.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    Author

    My name is Evvie Marin. I'm an artist,  writer, and ever-loving sucker for the woo arts, especially  tarot. I have a B.A. in fine art and theatre and I've been reading tarot cards for about nineteen years.

    Picture

    Newsletter

    Subscribe to receive a once monthly new blast with updates on new projects and events, plus fun process, tips, recommendations, and stuff from behind the scenes!
    Picture

    Contents

    Full blog index. Includes links to each post, by topic, with hand-picked highlights.
    Picture

    Categories

    All
    Art
    Autumn & Halloween
    Blog Hop
    Crafts & DIY
    Decks
    Dreaming
    Faces & Facets
    Fluff And Fun
    Interviews
    Journaling
    Majors
    Music
    Myths & Misconceptions
    News
    Philosophy
    Queerness
    Spreads
    Style
    Tarot 101


    Follow

    RSS Feed


    Support

    If you'd like to support my work, including this fine blog, there are plenty of ways to do that! With money, you can join the art & tarot club on Patreon, donate through Paypal, or buy yourself something nice in the shop. For free, comment on posts, share links with your friends, and follow me on Instagram and like and comment on posts there. Thanks so much!
    PATREON
    DONATE
    SHOP
    INSTAGRAM
Picture

HOME

BLOG

Spreads

CONTENTS

EBOOKS

FREEBIES

ABOUT

SHOP


Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Unless otherwise credited, all works on this site are by multimedia artist Evvie Marin (they/them/she/her). Check out my sibling site, www.evviemarin.com, for interdisciplinary art inspired by folklore, natural history, and subconscious fantasy. Join me on Patreon to support my work and receive rad, exclusive content! © 2023 Evvie Marin. All Rights Reserved.​